It was one of the frankest speeches I’ve heard delivered from an investor. When Nick McNaughton of Blue Cove ventures laid out the criteria he uses in evaluating an investment to an audience of potential angels one evening at Price Waterhouse Coopers, right there on his list between an entrepreneur’s intelligence and energy was “preferably single.”
A startup is a selfish mistress who demands all your time, energy and frequently your money. She will jealously pull you from you friends, your hobbies and even your spouse and sometimes the best relationships can’t handle the third wheel that is a startup. Over at his Startup Blog, entrepreneur Steve Sammartino took on this topic last week, concluding that in the end, a marriage is more important than a startup and that if business is deeply affecting your marriage then you need to exit the company. It’s this sort of language that, to an investor, can make the person that should be a supporter look like a burden. This isn’t to say that you should slip off your wedding ring before meeting with investors, but the fact of the matter is, if you are on your way to the top, it helps if you’re traveling light.
Entrepreneurs are easy people to fall in love with. They come with energy to spare not to mention contagious passion and creativity. But while falling for the entrepreneur is easy, staying can be tough. As a partner you know from the onset that you will frequently come second to a DOS attack, or a product launch. Soon after you will discover that the entrepreneurs’ lifestyle is frequently feast or famine, and the risk-tolerance that is their asset can be your burden.
In fact, the spouses of startups have even been given their own day of recognition. In 2007 Australian entrepreneurs Chris Saad and Ashley Angell launched Spouse 2.0 day , which isn’t far off on December 2, after Angell’s spouse began suffering neglect.
But there are some options aside from the shoulder shrugging of “love me love my business.”
For some, the option is to find someone equally entrepreneurial to love. When you’re both coming home at 10 p.m. or flying off for weeks at a time it makes things seem not quite so bad when you’re at least in the same boat.
Another option is partnered team where rather than being separated by a startup, both partners take a stake in it. There are actually several examples of this even in the Australian market where startups Shoes of Prey and Tjoos are all led by coupled teams.
What are your tips for making love and entrepreneurship co-exist?
As a 40 year old single Inventor/Entrepreneur it can be a lonely road.
With out that special someone in your life you have no one to bounce ideas off or if you do meet some one you can over whelm them with all your ideas and then they think you are a NUTTY PROFESSOR and you end up being miss understood.
Through out my last 4 years when I come up with my first idea I had some in my life but she was not really interested in what I was trying to achieve for us and so fell away.
One of the only things I have ever wanted in these last few years was just to have that special someone for help and support through the ups and downs not of this world / business but of your mind.
So to me if you can find that someone that has a common interest it can help.
But I would advise that if you do already have that special person in your life I would make time for them as you do your ideas/product/business cause in the end you just may end up single and lonely and all the hard work is for nothing or no one to share the spoils with.
It goes to show that a VC’s objectives are not at all the same as the objectives of someone with a good idea. The approach is perfectly understandable and logical from the VC’s perspective, but it creates lots of other situations.
An unattached person is likely to be young. Yet if it’s a potential big investment, it’d be nicer to have someone with a bit more experience (a previous smaller startup done, for instance). Contradiction! It creates an indirect dependency that actually hinders the original objectives.
Also, while focus is nice, people who are in a relationship can often bring additional maturity and perspective to a venture. That’s very valuable also.
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Great article Rachel.
I think often when you’re running a start-up other parts of your life do tend to be stretched.. And if they don’t, frankly, you’re probably not spending enough time on your start up.
However, with that said, when it all comes off to a massive exit the ones around you tend to share in the new found riches. So in some way, the start-up is everyones investment.
In the event that the exit never comes… Like the entrepreneur, those around the start-up have also learned many new lessons. One may be to find a partner with a steady job and time to watch TV at night.
So it’s a win win for all.
If your’e married already then any thought of starting your own business should always be a joint decision. What you have as a couple should always be regarded so, and therefore it should be seen as OUR business. It is important for your partner to fully understand this as it is going to be tough but worth it in the end. Make sure you are both pulling in the same direction on this one and you will survive.
One of the things I like best about Nick McNaughton is the central importance of his family in his life. Rarely do we talk without family coming into it and when visiting Sydney he chooses hotels that his kids enjoy staying in.
So I don’t think Nick is advocating dysfunctional or absent relationships, he’s just laying out his ideal criteria for investment. If you have a great investment opportunity for him but you also happen to have a commitment to your partner or kids to fulfill, it’s not going to disqualify you, it’s just something you’ll need to make clear upfront and speak honestly about.
Certainly my own priorities and work/life balance have changed since I became a husband and father but maybe (I hope) the nature of the contribution I make to a startup changes from “energy and time” to “experience and wisdom” (OK, “wisdom” may be stretching it, but something related to it.)
There’s more than one way to earn a VC his 50x exit.
It’s been great working with my wife Jodie to get Shoes of Prey off the ground. The only downside to doing a startup with your partner is that having a conversation that doesn’t involve the business can be difficult… it’s a constant challenge to make sure our relationship doesn’t become too intertwined with the business!
Still, I wouldn’t have it any other way, we get to spend a lot of time together and she’s fantastic to work with!